please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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