a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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