Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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