My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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