omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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