Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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