I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You've changed since you got that strap on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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