Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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