We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize