shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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