either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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