I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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