a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize