She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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