I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize