im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wear drunk well.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize