you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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