Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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