i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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