Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize