How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize