I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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