This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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