I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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