omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize