We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize