I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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