Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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