Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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