The maid of honor just puked.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize