I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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