Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize