Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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