Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize