I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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