I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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