all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize