Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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