I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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