i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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