Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize