she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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