I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize