6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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