did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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