awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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