Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it hurts more in the daytime
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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