my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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