Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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