she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize